the CHEESE stands alone

The farmer in the dell
The farmer in the dell
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The farmer in the dell

The farmer takes a wife
The farmer takes a wife
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The farmer takes a wife

The wife takes a child
The wife takes a child
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The wife takes a child

The child takes a nurse
The child takes a nurse
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The child takes a nurse

The nurse takes a cow
The nurse takes a cow
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The nurse takes a cow

The cow takes a dog
The cow takes a dog
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The cow takes a dog

The dog takes a cat
The dog takes a cat
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The dog takes a cat

The cat takes a rat
The cat takes a rat
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The cat takes a rat

The rat takes the CHEESE
The rat takes the CHEESE
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The rat takes the CHEESE

The CHEESE stands alone
The CHEESE stands alone
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The CHEESE stands alone

Childhood trauma. I hated this game in pre-school. I wanted to stab the bastard, who picked me as the CHEESE, with an ice pick. I hated it when I get to be the CHEESE. I hate hate hate it. What was the CHEESE supposed to do? What was the purpose of this game? The CHEESE had to stand in the middle of a circle composed of evil toddlers emphasizing “cheeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz”, high-pitched mind you. And you stand there, and you think, “Hmm, what now?” while these kids sing at you with bulging eyes and evil glee at the fact that the CHEESE is standing alone.

You sweat.

And at that last line of the song… “the CHEEEEEZZZZZZ stands alone…”

They scream… “AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”

All hell breaks loose and everyone runs, and for a moment you’re paralyzed. “Mommy, what am I going to do?”

So you run around as well screaming…until the teacher cries “Alright! Alright! Stop that!”

She sits you down and enlighten you patiently, “You have to pick the next farmer.”

So…

The CHEESE gets to decide, eh? And the evil cycle begins all over again.

Somehow I always forget.

I hate being the CHEESE. Because then, everyone wants to be the farmer.