Grr.
Written on:
Sunday
May 28, 2006
11:45 PM
When the mind is befuddled by thoughts of unrelenting violence, the need to inflict tremendous pain via decapitation or shoving your fist right smack through layers of skin, muscle, and bones, and then gripping the other’s spleen until it bursts --- feeling the mesh of flesh, tissue, and blood in the spaces in between your fingers before pulling your hand out, staring at the mess and then licking the blood off of your fingers, smearing it all over your face, the pale skin of your face tainted with black and red, blood lust surging through your veins and you know that YOU WANT MORE --- that is when you realize you’re going up against a very long one sentence-paragraph.
Instead of going for her jugular vein, I restrained myself. Because I already knew for a long time. And I’d like to believe that all this time, I was just not waiting for a reason to indulge in a rampage of uncivilized atrocities, and that in fact I did have a friend somewhere in IT.
I wait until nature subjects me to corrosion and transforms my outermost layer into something more human compared to the animal rawness I’ve morphed into for that 24 hours. An evolution into a higher and sturdier form contra a de-evolution to a lower and crude form.
I give people credit---and apparently more than what half of you deserve, and less to what the other half amounts to. (geek observation: I pulled a Bilbo Baggins right there!) I also developed over the past year a tendency to have faith in the goodness of people, moreso my friends---Boho or not. Wow. Did I get screwed? Or did I get screwed? Looking at the situation now, I would say YES. BOTH WAYS. Boy, is my ass going to be fucking sore.
So now I do the decent thing: sacrifice a lamb to the almighty Hera and heed for retribution through an onslaught of venereal disease. Leave it to the gods and continue shearing the sheep.
***
To the almighty being/beings, because yes, I believe there has got to be some screwed up being out there who gets the kicks out of this crap (I didn’t become an agnostic for nothing, you know),
After 20 years of painstaking monotony (that in hindsight now seems like a breeze and as dense as cotton candy), I’d just like to say good job for the two-year crash course. Toast all around!
Adultery, infidelity, cowardice, failure, death, love, murder, drugs, sex, hatred, leeches, friends, pseudo friends, parasites, credit cards, anemia, debts, cancer, aneurysm, employment, unemployment, abortion (not mine), babies (not mine), moving out, marriage, treachery, the human frailty, the orgasm reached by listening to NIN full blast, and the absurdity of lizard sex.
Did I miss out anything? Is there anything else? Props to you man. I can take it. I’m a fast learner.
Sunday
May 28, 2006
11:45 PM
When the mind is befuddled by thoughts of unrelenting violence, the need to inflict tremendous pain via decapitation or shoving your fist right smack through layers of skin, muscle, and bones, and then gripping the other’s spleen until it bursts --- feeling the mesh of flesh, tissue, and blood in the spaces in between your fingers before pulling your hand out, staring at the mess and then licking the blood off of your fingers, smearing it all over your face, the pale skin of your face tainted with black and red, blood lust surging through your veins and you know that YOU WANT MORE --- that is when you realize you’re going up against a very long one sentence-paragraph.
Instead of going for her jugular vein, I restrained myself. Because I already knew for a long time. And I’d like to believe that all this time, I was just not waiting for a reason to indulge in a rampage of uncivilized atrocities, and that in fact I did have a friend somewhere in IT.
I wait until nature subjects me to corrosion and transforms my outermost layer into something more human compared to the animal rawness I’ve morphed into for that 24 hours. An evolution into a higher and sturdier form contra a de-evolution to a lower and crude form.
I give people credit---and apparently more than what half of you deserve, and less to what the other half amounts to. (geek observation: I pulled a Bilbo Baggins right there!) I also developed over the past year a tendency to have faith in the goodness of people, moreso my friends---Boho or not. Wow. Did I get screwed? Or did I get screwed? Looking at the situation now, I would say YES. BOTH WAYS. Boy, is my ass going to be fucking sore.
So now I do the decent thing: sacrifice a lamb to the almighty Hera and heed for retribution through an onslaught of venereal disease. Leave it to the gods and continue shearing the sheep.
***
To the almighty being/beings, because yes, I believe there has got to be some screwed up being out there who gets the kicks out of this crap (I didn’t become an agnostic for nothing, you know),
After 20 years of painstaking monotony (that in hindsight now seems like a breeze and as dense as cotton candy), I’d just like to say good job for the two-year crash course. Toast all around!
Adultery, infidelity, cowardice, failure, death, love, murder, drugs, sex, hatred, leeches, friends, pseudo friends, parasites, credit cards, anemia, debts, cancer, aneurysm, employment, unemployment, abortion (not mine), babies (not mine), moving out, marriage, treachery, the human frailty, the orgasm reached by listening to NIN full blast, and the absurdity of lizard sex.
Did I miss out anything? Is there anything else? Props to you man. I can take it. I’m a fast learner.
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